God is my Shepherd.

From all the tears that built up in my eyes and poured down my face, I wasn’t sure that any of these images would be in focus! Today was an incredible day for my sweet nephew, Taylor, and for our family, too. Today he showed the world that he has committed his life to Christ Jesus! Today we watched God answer our prayers!!

Nathan, our pastor, read Taylor’s testimony. Taylor laid it all down! He poured out his heart. . .

“What’s up everyone? My name is Taylor Robbins and I’m going public with my belief in the one true God today. Although my story isn’t pretty, it’s proof that God can save you no matter what. So, I grew up in church and I’d been baptized before when I was younger but didn’t really understand what it meant and never really had a relationship with Him. I stopped believing because someone that I was close to and that was teaching me about him passed away abruptly and then when my great grandfather passed it felt like that was the nail in the casket for my relationship with God. But it’s crazy how he works and brings you back to Him. You see after I stopped believing I was living a life full of sex, drugs, and alcohol. Basically just partying all the time looking for something to fill the void in my heart. But thanks to my family who I feel like have been praying for me for a long time, I found my way back to the light. I got invited to church one day by my little cousin and I made just about every excuse not to go but I woke up the next morning and I couldn’t fall back asleep so I was like ok I’ll go for her. I went and it felt like God was speaking right threw Nathan straight to me! It was everything I needed to hear and I could feel Him tugging on my heart. After that I went to Roots (college ministry) twice and after the second time me and Dillon had a very long talk outside. I asked Jesus to come into my heart and be apart of my life again. So I just want to say thank you to my family for not giving up hope and helping me find my way back. I was lost and now I’m found.”

We have been prayer warriors for my nephew for many, many years. We have watched him live a life of sin and we have watched him lose his faith in Jesus. A few months ago, when Taylor showed up at our home with a pillow, a blanket, his book bag and his xbox, we had no idea what to expect. Except, I could hear God telling us we needed to let him stay with us. We had no plan. We had no idea how long he would sleep on our couch. We just knew this was the right thing. This is what God needed us to do for Taylor.

By the way, this wasn’t easy for me. I pushed back against God. Even though He made it so clear to me what we needed to do, I was having a hard time with accepting it. We are living in a very small rental home as a family of five with three dogs and two cats, on a very tight budget as we are trying to restore our new home (the Broken House). How in the world could be take on another person? GOD!! That is how! God put me at ease! He provided Taylor a job with our company and God provided His income too!!

God put Taylor back in our lives and has worked through our family! He has restored our hearts and his too and given us an even stronger faith and our relationship with our Father has never been stronger. Through our surrender to Him, He has worked miracles!!

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.
- Psalm 23:1

I had so much anxiety right before church today. Anxiety about whether or not my nephew knew what he was committing to today in front of our family and church. Anxiety about how we will be able to afford to finish the restoration of our home. Anxiety about how much longer we will have before we get to move in. Will we make it in our home before Thanksgiving, before I host my Christmas mini sessions? How will we afford this and that????? I was just SO anxious this morning! And then, during service, God was speaking so clearly through Nathan! He said,

“If I’m in want, then the LORD is NOT my shepherd.”

As soon as he said those words, I felt all of the anxiety leave me! Satan was attacking me and God made me aware of it. And, because I was aware, I immediately prayed. . .

“Father, please forgive me for putting things before You. You are my Shepherd! I delight in You and find peace and fulfillment in Your love. Please don’t let me be shepherded by Your blessings but instead let me be shepherded by You, Jesus. Make me aware of what I am idolizing and teach me how to pray so that I can push Satan back to hell through You, Jesus! In your name, Amen.”

Who is your shepherd?

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk though the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23:1-6

TRUST! | Lessons from a virus

Earlier this year, I chose a word. It was something that I wanted to work on for the rest of this year. I chose the word, TRUST. Wouldn’t you know that my bible study group started a bible study called Trustworthy by Lysa Terkeurst! We’re several weeks into this study and now here we all are, quarantined to our homes and homeschooling our children in hopes that we can flatten the curve of this virus from spreading. It’s been a strange year so far, huh?!?!

I’ve started my year off with four illnesses but with every sickness, God brings me back to Him. He reminds me that I need to TRUST in Him.

TRUST the controlled, faith producing, suffering.

-Holly L. Robbins

I know my GOD is at work!! I know so many miracles are happening and so many lives are being transformed in this time of stillness in the world. This morning I prayed that God would have HIS way with HIS people and continue to bring them to their knees as they call Him Father!

Even though, being away from our community, friends and family isn’t easy, we can hold strong in our faith through this darkness because we believe and have His light in us.

There are so many people suffering alone at this time. . .isolation is creating a gateway for the enemy to creep in and we are spiraling into dark thoughts and anxiety is weighing on our chests. There is so much hope in God’s Word. At this time I’m choosing to focus on what HE says instead of some of the anxious thoughts I create.

Nothing tests our trust like fear. But fear fades when we trust the strength and sovereignty of our GOD.

- Lysa Terkeurst, Trustworth

So, ask yourself, what are my fears? Write them down - IDENTIFY them. Let them escape your brain onto paper. Now that you know what is causing the anxiety, you can begin to work on it. You can now pair your fear with TRUTH!

THE FEAR: My fear is that we will not be able to pay our bills if we can’t work due to the shelter-in-place.

THE TRUTH: We are all in this same situation and God is in control of it. He will bless us with what we need and when we need it if I continue to put my faith in Him.

God put this on my heart to share with you! If you find it helpful please be sure to share it with someone! I love you guys!

What is your God Given Talent???

My sweet boy, we have come so far. My depression cost us a lot of bonding time but the good news is we have now until forever. . .I love you.

It's been on my heart to ask you this,

““Have you ever prayed that God would reveal your “God Given Talents”?””

I know that's super random and you're probably like, "Holly, what does that have to do with photography or learning how to shoot better?" That question and that same prayer is how I found out I was supposed to be a photographer! 

Way back when I was about 16 weeks pregnant with our first baby, RyAnne, I joined a ladies Bible study group. Stacey, our group leader, asked us if we all knew what our God Given Talent was. I was sitting in a group of ladies ranging in age from about 24-50 and they ALL knew exactly what their God Given Talents were! Me on the other hand. . .UHHHHH, nope! Notta clue!!! It saddened me that I didn't have one single idea! So, I started praying and asking God to reveal it to me. Several months later and after I gave birth to RyAnne, I became very depressed. Postpartum depression crept into my mind, body and soul and took over my every being. It was one of the hardest times in my life. 

In December, when RyAnne was about eight months old, I was still suffering through my depression. Two weeks before Christmas my husband surprised me with an early gift, my very first DSLR camera! I had no initial intention of starting a business at that time. Heck, I didn't even know how to turn on my new camera or even know where to put the battery!!! BUT two months after receiving that gift, God made it very clear to me that I was to open a business and become a professional photographer! Without hesitation, I DID IT! It's been the most incredible journey too!! I've been blessed with serving some of the most incredible couples and families over my SEVEN years as a photographer and I hope there will be many, MANY more years to come! 

If you follow along with me on social media, Instagram and/or Facebook, you will know I have tried to be open about my PPD journey after having our son Rocco last June 2017. When he was about three and a half months old, it all came flooding back. This time even worse. It's been one of the hardest things to overcome, but I am finally seeing the light at the end of this dark tunnel! I started back working in the office this January. Although I have done some great things over the past few months for my family and work life, I have felt as though I was just meandering along. Doing but not really knowing the "WHY" I was doing it! So, I found myself praying again. . .

““Lord, what is my purpose? What are you preparing me for?” ”

In March, my sweet neighbor Brittany, randomly sent me a text asking me if I wanted to join her that evening for a new workout class that had just started up. I was ALLLLL about it!! For one, any excuse to hang out with Brittany was a YES and two, getting to workout - YES and YES! The class was like non-other I have ever been a part of. Chelsea, our instructor, started off the class asking for prayer requests. I remember thinking, "Hmmmmm, that's different but I like it!" As the weeks passed and we all started getting closer and closer as a group of STRONG ladies, I asked the ladies to pray that God would give me guidance and make my path clear! They prayed for me several times this same prayer for guidance. 

It's been on my heart to find a charity that I have a passion for. So, I started praying, asking that God would lead me to the charity that he knew I would be able to contribute to and also be passionate about. This past Saturday, while folding laundry, it hit me like a ton of bricks! God made it SO CLEAR to me. . .I need to find a charity that contributes to the research of Postpartum Depression!!! NEXT, I stopped what I was doing, grabbed my very empty journal and starting writing!! Chapters and excerpts and a layout for a book started flooding my mind!!! And there is was. . .I am to write a book about my postpartum depression journey and donate 10% of the proceeds to a charity that will help the research towards PPD!!! WHOA!!! 

I wanted to just let it marinate and settle in before I announced to my husband that I am going to be writing a book! The next day, Sunday, I was ready to tell him. . .but for some reason I couldn't! I literally started sweating every time I went to tell him! I am not ashamed, just nervous that he thought I was crazy! EEK! AND, it was my first time actually speaking this to anyone. Several failed attempts and several chocolate bars later (YES, I was eating my emotions!!!), finally, Rocco was asleep, the girls were riding their bikes, Trey and I had just stepped into my office and I asked him to have a seat. Yep, he looked at me like, "Uh oh! What is it???" 

I went into my story and he sat and listened. I cried and talked and talked and talked. . .Mostly out of nerves and excitement. Once I finally stopped talking, he said, "Holly, I don't care what you do. I support you no matter what!" 

“Have you ever prayed this prayer and asked God what your talents are? ”

I am very excited about this journey and where it will take me AND others too. I'm so thankful for all of your prayers!! This feels like such a huge responsibility, writing about something that is so dark and deep. My prayer. . .

“Lord, Please guide me through this journey of writing out my story. Allow positivity and hope to shine through all of the darkness that I will be discussing. Please allow my story to bring hope to many women who are suffering this battle!
- AMEN”

I hope my story inspires you to ask God. . .

Happy Tuesday!